As we rise in consciousness we are understanding our relationships better as they change form. Formerly, many would take a very negative stance on relationship endings and make statements such as, “My marriage failed”. We now understand that this is not the case. The relationship has served its role in teaching you what you came here to learn. In fact, you have succeeded in what you came to contribute and to receive from the other in this union. Hence, a shift in the relationship form may occur.
Admittedly, with change often comes a yearning for what was. Humans are creatures of comfort. I can certainly recall many times in relationships that I perhaps overstayed because of this. However, there are times when transformation is upon us as individuals and, consequently, as a couple. Only I wish for you that you to find appreciation of this significant other, what you have shared, exchanged and taught one another if your relationship is transitioning. Perhaps this person reminded you just how much you deserved to be loved, or encouraged you to attain your career aspirations, supported you though major life events or championed you on as parent!
Rather than unconsciously fall into resentment, you can take stock of the bigger picture of what this relationship/connection has been and contributed to your life story. We often diminish all of the loving wonder because we think that this will make it easier to let go. Of course, there is room for all sorts of emotions and I encourage you to let yourself feel these to process and move forward. There are also relationships where the toxic behaviours (usually of both parties) means that you need to be realistic about what has occurred. Denial is not a useful adaptation any longer. Be real. But if you shared some incredible experiences, deep affection and learning, is it imperative to discard this?
As a very seasoned relationship human, I can state that all of my relationships have contributed greatly to who I am now! Even the ones I have considered unhealthy. Would I change anything if I could? Yes, I would change my future and adopt all that I have gleaned. And so it is. And so I do.
I now know the truth of love. It is not an energy that ever dies. We may disconnect from it, but love itself is an eternal force.
I have been choosing for a number of years now to part ways with love in my heart. As a result, I have a few incredible human beings in my life that I do not even like to diminish their importance by terming them “exes”. The word ex is so often associated with negative and dramatic references. These beautiful souls are friends. They are family to me. Through agreement that we could do things better, we let the loving connection continue as the relationship changed form. Our lives are consequently richer as are our open hearts. No-one misses out.
Hence, I consider it time we transformed relationship terminology. I much prefer uncoupled then “broke up” which infers something is broken. Alternatively, I would prefer to say, “when our relationship transitioned…” than “uncoupling”. I don’t even use the word ex. But perhaps you have a suggestion for something more applicable, if so please comment below.
May this post gently guide you to greater truths, especially if you are nurturing a tender experience right now. Love is the most powerful energy of all. This energy certainly deserves our ongoing awe.
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