Have you ever felt like your consciousness is a few steps ahead, and your thoughts and emotions are still catching up? It is a curious place to be in. We find ourselves in this magnificent awareness of how we can be, simultaneously experiencing the thoughts and feelings of the moment. Perhaps your emotional reactions feel heavy, restricted, or unwanted. Your cognitions may be circling, cycling, and tangling you up in terror. Yet oddly, you consciously know that you could choose awareness in the moment and feel more at peace. No, you are not getting it wrong. You are in conscious transition. 

Whatever is coming through for you right now, is as it is. Let go of judgement and expectation of yourself for this is also part of the process. In living the cognitive and emotional experience, you have the ingredients for conscious observation. It is like eating, you need food to undertake the activity. Consider thinking as food, and conscious observation the activity. 

Your thoughts are the gateway to observing and thus provide you with opportunity to be consciously aware. How amazing is that?

Furthermore, the fact that you are aware that you could be letting go of repetitious thoughts that are hurting you and fuelling your emotional state is indicative that you are on your path of glittery expansion. Why glittery? Because every moment you live this shiny consciousness, you are the golden light dancing across the surface of charcoal coated seas, flickering with contagious contentment. Your heart becomes fully fuelled. Your salty smile permeates to others. Souls are touched, tensions are eased in your conscious presence, even if momentary. 

Recently, I tousled the following contemplations for a book I have been writing. I considered how I might be if emotionally I felt more healed, how my feelings would present if I had already caught up to the wisdom of my conscious self. Little did I realise that I was pre-empting soon to arrive consciousness experiences. 

Former situations that would render my egoic mind into panic, fearing a false abandonment, or trigger a spell of insecurity stopped in their tracks. Interestingly, this cessation of discomfort has been happening automatically. I used to apply tools and awareness for any mental and emotional peace to be felt. Perhaps my ongoing commitment to being conscious is reaping returns. Lately, I have not needed to actively cease “the thinking” or pull out a therapeutic hack. It just happens. I am in a conscious state, gently noticing the thoughts that are stories and not true. Some would say I have established new neural pathways. I imagine this to be true. Ultimately, I continue to be more present within my conscious self. I as “observer” is more often, and the mind-made thoughts fade. 

I am not aiming for perfection. This is not something I advocate for anyone to strive for. I also do not assume to have achieved some totality of enlightenment. What I can share is that I have been choosing for some time to notice what my mind is doing. In this observation, the egoic thinking that has been hurtful has quietened. Consequently, my mind is often much kinder. Now that my awareness gently notices fearful thoughts (as thinking only), such mental energy drifts and dissolves back to being pure love. 

Let your thoughts go.

And let them go again. You are on the path and it is very worth it.

Artwork: Sin

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