At 19 years of age I found my bum on a seat at a 12 Step meeting. No, I didn’t have a problem with drugs or alcohol. I was singularly attracted to others who did. Take me to a bar and for sure, every person I would be attracted to had a serious addiction. True story!
So while I’d occasionally complain that it was a pain to be living with my eyes open at the precipice of adulthood, I was absolutely thrilled to discover HP (Higher Power). I loved every moment of feeling that deep connection with something far greater than myself. While not religious, faith seemed so natural and easy. I was awakening – for the first time! My young life had big doses of very messy dynamics and relating. Clearly I was ready to start waking up.
Throughout most of my 20s I kept a connection to Source, even after I stopped attending 12 step meetings at 21. However I moved away from my spiritual awareness unconsciously in my late 20s with an embarrassingly inflated ego. By my 30s I’d entered a long relationship with a partner who didn’t get the spiritual stuff, or art, or alternative music. This is not to say that she wasn’t a significant teacher, nor was she an excuse. I had lost my way though.
Fast forward to my late 30s and I rediscovered who I am.
By my early 40s, the clock struck thrice on a personal experience and this time I went down for the count. I was riddled with anxiety and didn’t work for a while. I blamed externals and continued to feed myself scary stories.
While I had experienced anxiety over larger life changes before, it had never been debilitating. I now understand the global truth that the most painful experiences often show up as an opportunity to awaken. And, awaken I did. I discovered Eckhart Tolle, mindfulness, Pema Chodron, compassion, Deepak Chopra, true forgiveness. A bunch of incredible healers each had their part on my recovery journey, I was committed to my healing and I started over. It certainly wasn’t an overnight trip.
I connected once more to something greater than myself. It felt amazing when I let go and did. Only this time I was ready to truly grasp so much of the possibility within myself and my reality.
The most significant part of my awakening journey was totally unexpected. A couple of years later a friend mentioned to me that I was the 3rd person?? The third person needed for an intimate group to develop intuitive abilities with a mentor.
Now it’s true I had seen, heard and felt ghosts and entities before… was fearful and shut down. My deceased nanna had also visited in dreams when I was 40-41 teaching me about reality, reincarnation, death, possibility, astral travel and more. It was a preparation for something more that I had not yet anticipated.
This time I was a bum on a seat in a bright yellow painted room with an incredible spiritual mentor. An unanticipated fork revealed itself in my path and blew my awakening out of the water.
I discovered very early on in the course that I had a direct line of communication with Source. I could see, hear, feel and know things that I couldn’t possibly have without channeling Source. Before I knew it, I was working with energy and using this to clear blockages, fears, trauma, and to heal.
My life has changed. This extroverted extrovert now likes a lot of time alone, lots of chill time in fact! I meditate and connect to Source every day minimum (when not even channeling for clients). I feel uncomfortable if I haven’t meditated at least once a day.
While I am more sensitive, to others as well and energies at times, I know how to manage this. My third eye has been buzzing on overdrive though for a few years at least. My friends and family know who I am and what it is I am able to do. It was somewhat like a second coming out!
I won’t lie. It was a traumatic path to get here. I concede I made it harder for myself with an imbalanced ego focused on fear. I did not know any better back then.
However those periods in life where all is turned upside down, nothing makes sense and you’re completely at a loss are often the golden opportunities to have a spiritual awakening.
The funny thing is, once you’re on the spiritual path, and may have been for sometime, it doesn’t mean you reach a plateau and life is all zen, herbal tea and rainbows. You choose to continue evolving consciously. There are multiple openings to continue remembering who you are and who you want to be. It is a lifelong journey.
The silver linings are the magnificence you feel, the love of God/Source/The Divine… and the tools! Every time crap hits the fan, you’re growing array of tools are so handy. Oops, starting to worry again? Breathe, step back into this moment. Oh that’s right, lots to be grateful for. What used to be a difficult year can temper to just being a difficult day. It is all worth it.
If you sense you’re going through an awakening, or know you are you in first two years of this crazy and amazing time, and are in Sydney in Early August, please click link the link below for the upcoming Awakening workshop I am co-facilitating. There is no need to go it alone, come and join others in the same era of self-discovery 🙌💛